Anonymous said: Why do you hate cats?

I DON’T, ANON! I LOVE CATS! CATS ARE GREAT! UNFORTUNATELY I ALSO LOVE FUNCTIONING LUNGS, NON-SWOLLEN EYES, AND BEING ABLE TO BREATHE, ALL OF WHICH ARE THINGS I LOSE IF I DON’T POP A BUNCH OF ALLEGRA AND AVOID FUR DIRECTLY IN MY FACE!

Tags: Anonymous

clawing at the door and heavy thumps as a paw appears underneath

CATS ARE MONSTERS

Tags: no cat no

Ugh, these two. (x)

(Source: sebastianstoned, via therealdeepsix)

agnusmonster:

This song makes me want to step on a thousand shirtless men while wearing high heels

(Source: bellecs, via witchspell)

stopthatimp:

i want to talk about fic that i want but i have inexplicably forgotten every piece of media i’ve ever enjoyed???? maybe i’ll just go see if there’s vampire academy fic on ff.net

I REMEMBER WHAT I WAS GOING TO TALK ABOUT

KATNISS/JOHANNA WHERE KATNISS IS SUPER EMOTIONALLY REPRESSED AND JOHANNA KEEPS BEING LIKE “WE COULD BANG, NOTHING WEIRD” AND JOHANNA SECRETLY KIND OF WANTS TO WIFE KATNISS UP BUT INSTEAD OF EXPRESSION THAT LIKE A HUMAN IS JUST LIKE, “HERE, I KILLED SOMETHING FOR YOU”

AND EVENTUALLY JOHANNA CONCLUDES THAT MAYBE KATNISS JUST ISN’T INTO RELATIONSHIPS, OR EVEN SEX RLY, AND STOPS BANGING HER

AND KATNISS PINES BUT DOESN’T REALIZE SHE’S PINING

AND REVOLUTION

AND JOHANNA DISAPPEARS FOR AWHILE

AND KATNISS IS LIKE “MAYBE I MISS HER. MAYBE???”

THEN JOHANNA COMES BACK

AND THEY FIGHT

BUT END UP MAKING OUT

WHICH IS REALLY SIGNIFICANT BC THEY’VE NEVER KISSED MUCH BEFORE

THEN THEY DO IT FOREVER, THE END

i want to talk about fic that i want but i have inexplicably forgotten every piece of media i’ve ever enjoyed???? maybe i’ll just go see if there’s vampire academy fic on ff.net

Tags: gpoy lolin

I’m constantly glad my cat allergy is hives and requires a LOT of physical contact. Would not be able to interact with the rest of team philly without it. And they know that you can’t be around them so they’re always up in your business.

oh man, hives freak me out so i am similarly glad my allergy is not yours. but yeah, i get breathing problems/a stuffy nose if i’m not on allegra-d, and THE CATS CAN SENSE IT. THEY KNOW. THEY PREY ON FEAR.

apfelgranate:

driftingwithchuckhansen:

Raleigh Becket + That Thing He Does With His Hips

Raleigh “I Lead With My Hips” Becket

# idk what we did to deserve raleigh becket but i’m glad we did it  (vrabia)

(Source: captainandbucky, via everalexia)

me and my gf are catsitting 4 cats, by which i mean she’s catsitting them and i’m loafing around taking advantage of her friend’s nicer house (the friend knew i was staying). tumblr, i am SO FUCKING ALLERGIC TO CATS. i’m on allegra-d and still somewhat congested, and i’m pretty sure the cats can SMELL MY FEAR because they keep CLIMBING ON ME. “CAN WE SHOWER TOGETHER? CAN WE EAT TOGETHER? CAN I SIT ON YOUR CHEST AND SHOVE MY FACE IN YOUR FACE WHILE YOU’RE ON YOUR COMPUTER???? WE’RE FRIENDS NOW, RIGHT???? HI!!!!”

cats are hell beasts. i’m going to fucking die. yesterday morning i opened the door to the bedroom and all four were LINED UP OUTSIDE THE DOOR, STARING AT ME. when i don’t post on tumblr and rumors of my disappearance spread, KNOW THAT IT WAS THE CATS WHO DID ME IN

Tags: cats